A Promise to the Lost
by NevermoreCalls
Summary: Lara reflects her time on the island and the people she lost. Slight Alex/Lara


A Promise to the Lost

He loved her. That was the only word Lara could describe it. Alex had loved her.

But he was gone now. Left behind on the Endurance so Lara could escape. She should've saved him. She should've been the one left behind.

Wiping her wet cheeks, Lara inhaled a breath as she soaked in the moist, salty air of the sea. The remains of the Endurance crew were below deck. Both celebrating for their win against Himiko, and mourning the deaths of Roth, Alex, Grim, Whitman and the others who were lost.

Lara had shed her tears for the others, especially Roth, but Alex hadn't hit her until now. She turned her head toward the south, where the Dragon's Triangle had already vanished form view. Her eyes watered again as she pictured their faces.

Roth. Grim. Alex. A part of her even mourned Dr. Whitman. He was arrogant—cowardly—but his life was in pieces. His wife left him as he'd run out of money. This trip was his last hope of regaining some dignity. Probably wanted the title of "celebrity" more than anything. A desperate enough man would go to any lengths to reach his goal.

 _Even betray us_ , Lara thought bitterly.

Sighing, she shook her head. She brought them to their deaths. She didn't care what Jonah said otherwise. If it weren't for her, they never would've gone to that cursed island. Maybe she should've kept her mouth shut and just allowed Whitman to do as he pleased. At least the others would be alive.

Lara thought back to Alex's note:

 _I wish I could be more like Lara… she just blows me away. Not only is she brilliant, she's also an amazing ass kicker. And if she didn't notice me before, she sure as hell won't now. But maybe I can still do something to get her attention._

 _Didn't notice me before…_

 _Do something to get her attention…_

 _She just blows me away…_

It wasn't that she _didn't_ notice Alex. In fact, she thought he was sweet, if a bit quirky at times. He always managed to put a smile on her face. Reyes might have felt differently about his jokes—annoyed more like—but it was a way to calm the crew down after an argument.

And they fought often when Whitman wasn't getting his way. He was exceptionally demanding of Sam when the documentary was being filmed. His face flushed cherry red—she was sure he would burst at any moment.

Looking back, she wished that's all that happened. Just a stressful and failed voyage. It would've been better than fighting for their lives every second. She would still have Roth—her mentor and a second father to her in so many ways. He was there when her father wasn't. "You're a Croft" is what he would tell her when she doubted herself.

Grim was like a grandfather, he loved telling her and Sam stories of voyages he'd been on. The dangers and blubbing sea splashing against his ship as he fought a hurricane, cursing at God to give him a better challenge. Lara laughed to herself, he was a bit nutty with his improbable stories, but they made the trip all the more fun.

And Alex… he sat with her once, in morning when Sam had to leave to film something for Whitman. Over a simple cup of steaming coffee, they connected… and she never realized it. He'd made her laugh and took an interest in her mind. Although, she didn't fail to notice him glancing at her chest once or twice, only to immediately look away and sip his coffee.

He asked her about college, where she lived, the normal things one would ask a shipmate, but Alex wasn't doing it for sheer conversation.

He did it because he wanted to know her better.

 _He thought I didn't notice him. I guess he was right._ The words struck her heart. Her chest clenched and twisted tight, making it hard for her to draw breath. What if Alex had survived? Would their relationship be different? Would she have… given him a chance?

She paused for a long moment, concluding that there was no point in asking such questions. Alex was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. Still, his loss will follow her for the rest of her life. Still, she would keep his memory close to her heart.

 _For you, Alex, I will kick some more ass. I will do better in protecting those I love. Even if it means I have to leave them behind and out of danger. You're sacrifice will not go in vain._

A small promise to the ghost of Alex's memory, but it was the best she could do.

"Hey, Lara. You coming to eat?" Jonah's voice echoed behind her.

Lara turned, sniffing. Forcing a smile, she said "Yeah, I'm coming."

Jonah's eyebrow raised as his mouth curved downward. "Were you… saying goodbye?"

Lara stared straight, not wanting to face him. "Making a promise. That I will do better and that I'll never forget them."


End file.
